


you're my all and more

by onceuponawar



Category: Girl Meets World
Genre: Break Up, F/F, Pain, Rilaya, and also the song breathe by lauv, hartthews, inspired by the gmw cancellation, riley/maya
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-05
Updated: 2017-01-05
Packaged: 2018-09-15 02:34:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9214982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onceuponawar/pseuds/onceuponawar
Summary: Maya has spent her entire life loving Riley Matthews, from the way she laughed to the way she tripped over everything to the way that when she loved someone she loved them with everything she had. But now she's only days from having two thousand miles separating them and she knows she has to set her free. No matter how much it hurts.





	

**Author's Note:**

> this is the fastest i've ever written a piece, but the words just seemed to flow so easily in the grief of losing girl meets world today. i know there is still a chance in it going to netflix, a chance i'm thankful we have and am supporting wholeheartedly. but in despite of that, the thought of losing this show that has really changed me as a person inspired this piece. i hope it sparks just as emotion in all of you

“This isn’t over, Maya.” She says it over and over and over and Maya hears her, she really does, she can’t remember a time where she wasn’t listening to everything that came out of Riley Matthews mouth; from gibberish when she’s excited, to choked cries when her tears soak the collar of Maya’s shirt, to delicate niceties when she’s surrounded by people she’s trying wholeheartedly to impress, to soothing gentle assurances when someone begins to cry on her shoulder, to mumbled love confessions in Maya’s ear that used to only be held in the midnight hours but now appear any time of day, to now a desperate cry in the middle of her bedroom. 

She’s gripping Maya’s hand like it’s her only tether to reality, their fingers woven so tightly that Maya knows they’ll both have bruises when they break away, but she can’t bring herself to worry; if she leaves right now the soft skin between Riley’s fingers won't be the only thing that’s bruised. Her heart will be too. And the last thing Maya would ever, in a thousand years or a thousand lifetimes think of doing to Riley is hurt her, mentally or physically, but she knows the time they have is already dwindling. To cling to it as Riley is is a foolish game of love Maya doesn’t wish to play with the brunette’s heart. 

Riley is so soft and gentle and loving and beautiful, yet so fierce and determined and independent and selfless that Maya knows that anyone she meets on the road to come will fall in love with her, just as Maya did the first time she crawled through that open window; strangely compelled by the little singing voice floating gracefully down from four stories above. If any of them know what’s good for them, they’ll cling to her like the air they breathe and never let go. Riley was special, she’s one of those people you don’t meet every day. The kind that will never give up on you and will always forgive, even if you may not deserve it in the long run.

Maybe she was being contradictory, because she was leaving Riley, the girl she loved with everything, the girl she’d do anything for to protect from misery, the very air she breathed, but she tells herself that it’s for Riley’s own good. Maya wants to tell her this, to tell her that she means everything to her, to tell her that what they share will never fade, to tell her that this is hurting her just as much, to tell her she’s feeling the same burning pain of longing and fear of what life will be like when they’re separated by 2,885 miles of mountains and plains and forests and cities. When they share nothing but the blue sky above them.

“I’m setting you free,” Maya says, daring to look into her eyes for the first time. She’s not surprised tears are pooling there, making her chocolate irises suddenly seem like they’re in a glass display case; close enough to see, but touchable no longer. It still sends a pang of fiery pain through her chest and before she can stop herself or process the action through her better judgement, Maya lifts her hand to Riley’s cheek and brushes away a few of the small tear droplets that are gliding down her cheeks, leaving watery trails to her chin and soaking the top of her silky, emerald green dress. 

The small movement sends a flood of memories over Maya, reminding her of happier times that her hand gently brushed Riley’s cheek in such a manner. The times they’d kissed softly while in public or innocently in the middle of the night when they were both tiring and nearly to unconsciousness, or the times the touch was decidedly not innocent, charged with passion and the desperate need to be closer, the need to have more skin exposed to lay wanting fingers upon. Even the kiss they shared a mere hour ago on the taxi home from a carefree rendezvou in a darkened park haunted her, lingering and full of love. Maya wants the memories to go away; disappear as fast as they came. They were only making it harder for her to let go. As if it wasn’t already killing her.

Maybe Riley sees this, because as Maya tries to retract her hand, hoping her thoughts become more focused with less contact, Riley catches her open palm and guides it back to her face. Her eyes have narrowed, forcefulness flashing in them. Her eyebrows have scrunched in disbelief and she’s smiling but it’s not genuine, more confused. Smiling at all seems so out of place in a time like this. Maya tries to nonverbally will her to not even begin this argument, because she’s already shattering, but even if Riley picks up on the hint she ignores it.

“I don’t need you to set me free, Maya. I am free.” Her smile and forcefulness cracks and along with the display case shielding her eyes, and tears begin to brim and slowly fall, one by one. Maya is close enough to see a few of them cling to her thin, lower lashes delicately. Riley’s hand is still holding Maya’s harshly, to the point her knuckles are white, and she holds up their intertwined fingers as she speaks. “You make me feel free. Don’t take that away. Don’t leave.” Riley drops their hands and begins to sob quietly, eyes squeezed shut, trying to prevent any more tears from escaping. It’s no longer an argument, it’s a plead.

Maya removes her hand from Riley’s cheek and pulls the brunette closer into her chest. She knew the promises she made to herself about trying to make this as quick and painless as possible, but when she really thinks about it she knew that this was how it was going to go. Nothing about this, what she had to do, where she had to go, was painless. And she didn’t want Riley’s final memory of before they parted ways to be of a different girl than the one she fell in love with. So Maya takes her into her arms and allows herself to be lit on fire at the close touch. But in the end, she’d be lit like this a thousand times over to keep Riley Matthews, the girl she loved, warm.

Riley’s tears soak the soft skin in the crook of Maya’s neck as they both slowly sink to the carpet. Maya is on Riley’s lap now, making the height difference between them less noticeable; she briefly wonders if she’ll ever enjoy being significantly shorter than someone again, but then shoves the thought away and places her chin atop Riley’s head. Tears of her own begin to soak Riley’s scalp as she breathes in the scent of her flowery shampoo. The aroma she may have taken for granted, knowing that the next day, and every day after that for the foreseeable future, she would be able to smell the exact same roses and daisies, but Maya knows she doesn’t have that luxury anymore. She begins to take gulps of it in, wanting the high to send her to a reality where this isn’t happening and the evening could’ve ended with giggles and being curled up together in bed, under warm sheets with a secure future, together, on their minds.

“I love you,” Maya whispers into her hair, planting a kiss there.

Riley pulls her closer, another choked sob escaping her lips. She shakes her head repeatedly, silently asking Maya if she had to go, even though she knew the answer. After a moment of acceptance, she takes a deep, stuttering breath and pulls her head from Maya’s neck, looking into her eyes. “I love you, too.” The words ‘always and forever’ don’t even need to be said, they’re written all over her face, written all over every moment they’d ever shared.

Maya untangles herself, taking an extra amount of time to do so; every touch lingering. Riley revels in it, a soft sigh escaping her at each gentle graze of her fingertips, wanting to remember every place she was last touched by her. The only place they’re still touching when Maya stands and makes her way to the window is their hands, the same hands they’ve been gripping together all night. And their hands are still clasped when Riley opens the window gently and Maya crawls through.

Riley begins to let go, the warm late spring air seeping through the cracks in between their fingers, but Maya suddenly turns around on the fire escape, holding them tightly together again. She laughs waterly.  “This is really only appropriate isn’t it? That I’m leaving the same way I came in? Through this window?”

A fresh batch of hot tears roll down Riley’s face and they stare at each other for a long second before Maya shifts upward and catches Riley’s lips right as she’s coming down to meet her’s. It’s only while they’re kissing that Maya pries each finger out of Riley’s vice-like grasp, one at a time. Now she’s the one savoring the final touch. 

When their kiss finally breaks, too, the sweet taste still lingering on Maya’s lips, their foreheads rest together for a mere moment. Then Maya is gone, nearly as fast as she’d appeared eleven years ago. She shuts the window behind herself, the soft thunk a sound that rings in her ears for a long time after, and climbs down the fire escape.

Maya never sees Riley Matthews again, but the memories of what they shared were never lost. Because of that beautiful, caring and kind girl she met when she was only seven, she learned how people could truly changed people. She was given a hope she didn’t think she could possess and a family that accepted her along with it. Because of her, Maya met the world. And even if none of that were true, she could still never forget the first girl she ever loved.


End file.
